April 25, 2017 – Trout Lake, Washington

I have better things to do with my time.

I barely even know these people.

Kya is only seventeen.

Are these legitimate reasons to avoid participating in a sauna with Jack and his family and friends, or just petty excuses? I delve into my psyche to determine the validity of my thought process, only to unveil weakness.

Public nudity is outside of my comfort zone.

I’m scared to be that open with people because I know what it leads to.

If I avoid connecting with others, it will be less painful when I leave.

I join everyone afterward for a potluck-style dinner, continuing to shield myself from too much conversation or connection. I sneak away early. Get back to work on my project.

Distract myself from confronting my weakness.

“Man can and does rationalize his sins. He finds reasons for all his weakness, invents excuses that first calm and then deaden his conscience. He blames God, society, education, and environment for his wrong doing.” – Mother Angelica