June 23, 2016 – Somewhere over Wyoming?

Part 1: Departing Flight

“Mir. Sleep.”

I’m writing a note to myself on my hand – a reminder to inform Miriam that she can sleep on my bed in the tool shed while I’m gone if she so desires. I would if I were her. I imagine one would get tired of being woken up at God-knows-what-time from the sounds of dogs walking, doors opening, food cooking.

I look out the plane window to glance at the endless mountains. So much to behold. Five days apart should be good for both of us, we concurred. These chance encounters can be confusing. Distracting. Enjoyable. I mostly worry that in her attempt to escape her known reality for a time, a time in which massive transformation can occur, she may hold on a bit too dearly to a person who has been by her side during much of that process.

I am uncertain of what I want from her. Where I want our relationship to go.

If I want a relationship at all.

Part 2: Connecting Flight

Since my departing flight was delayed by forty minutes due to inclement weather, my fellow passengers and I were all pretty anxious on the tarmac. Pacing. Exhaling heavily. Checking the time. Come on, come on, come on. When our bags were finally brought out to us, I ran like the wind to make my connecting flight. When I arrived, they were boarding my section.

Thank God.

I look out the plane window to glance at the air traffic control operators. Baggage handlers. Attendants. As we start moving, I look to my right. The seat is empty. Wait a second…

The seat next to me on the first flight was empty.

Both flights were/are nearly at full capacity. What are the odds? A gentleman two seats over is playing solitaire on his phone. I’m heading to a wedding in Iowa. A wedding.

The symbolism of loneliness is unmistakable.

“Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.” – Paul Tillich