June 27, 2015 – Crosslake, Minnesota

Finally. My first “napkin number” as a server.

It’s sad to admit, but yeah, it just now happened. I’m 29, and I’ve been in the industry off and on for about ten years. Must be the arm hair. Or the male pattern baldness. Or the combination of the two. Maybe it’s just the area I’m in during this time of the year, but I can’t remember the last time I’ve been hit on this many times.

(No, I’m not trying to brag, and yes, there is a relevant point.)

Rewind to a couple years ago when I had my own place. Check. College degree. Check. Nice furniture. Big television. New car. Check, check, check. I created a nice little world for myself, but I was missing something. Someone. After all, how can I be happy without having someone to share this with? I was 27 and ready to settle down.

But even before that, I always felt incomplete when I was single. Why do we feel this way? Familial pressure? Societal pressure? Advertising? I know it’s in our nature to seek companionship, but there is a line when it comes to how much we should focus on it.

And I used to cross that line on a nearly daily basis.

But then a change occurred in me. I started traveling a lot. Nomading around. As I spent more and more time away from the little world I created for myself, my focus began to shift. Less focus on accumulation, more on experiences. Less about me, more about others. In turn, I became more comfortable with myself. More comfortable in being alone.

I decide to meet this woman for a drink. I haven’t been on a date in God knows how long…besides, what could it hurt? After some conversation and another drink, it’s fairly obvious that we currently have about zilch in common. She just bought a property. I’m looking for a wannabe gypsy. Let me rephrase that. I’m open to meeting someone. No longer am I seeking her out. No longer am I beating myself up over blown opportunities. Failed relationships. On the contrary, I’m thankful that they didn’t work out.

Because if one did, I might still be stuck in my little world that I created for myself.

“If you cannot find a good companion to walk with, walk alone, like an elephant roaming the jungle. It is better to be alone than to be with those who will hinder your progress.” – Buddha